LETTER TO A MAILING LIST:

Subject: Something like my memories of this Summer University...

(MOST OF THIS BULLSHIT IS ALMOST TRUE! but please don't take it seriously...)

(to be read as a post-modern poem: )

Fuck.

Where has the music gone?

I'm at the university (not the Summer one, the disgusting one) surrounded by lovely nerds, listening to the miracles of Polimorphical Programing Languages and trying to don't fall sleep.

Ok, my body is there, but my mind is somewhere in the midle of a SU, surrounded by a lot of cool aegee people from all over Europe.

No, it hasn't finished.

The milk or mmylc or whatever is still here.

I'm still trying to learn 20 strange names (Jeroen, I'm sorry but I still cannot pronounce yours).

And we are still visting el Barri Gòtic, el Barri Xino, el Barri d'Horta (only with Esra), las Ramblas, the Gaudí stuff, Girona City, Dalí's falic symbols, Picasso's strange dogs... and sometimes I'm trying to behave like a good guide but others I'm just listening to proper guides like Dani or Jaume, or to Athina in Empuries or to Agnese in Montjuïc, trying to learn something to explain maybe next year (maybe next life).

And we are still trying to learn sardanes in front of the Cathedral (and it's in the old times, before this WW-3 shit, when "Eleven Of September" only meaned the Catalan National Day).

Then we are in a train looking for someone who has ever fighted against a Jehova's Witness, or who has beautiful eyes (and few people write my name! have you looked at them twice?).

And we are next to the camping, sitting on the grass (and on some warm and comfortable cow deffecations), singing European songs and drinking sangria, doing our best to avoid being frozen, and learning Spanish poetry: "por mucho que escurras el pajarillo la última gota queda en el calzoncillo" (Dinko and Shine become almost Spanish that night).

And Irene and Ginés are really taking a bath in the fucking swimming pool! I still cannot belive it.

And we are walking from Queixans to la Molina... ok, most of the chikens are going by car, and our toughest guys Patrik and Jeroen are somewhere in the Pirenees, starving and enjoing the nature (it was nice to see them alive, maybe 8 hours later, but it was difficult to find a room for them because Irene was happily and deeply doing the Compulsory Spanish Siesta, as everybody should have been doing).

And then we are doing the craziest party ever done in a fucking church!

I felt so holly and pure dancing on the altar that later I even flew like Superman; but finally I gave the cape to Patrik ("songs of freedom...") because he was cooler and because he had to fight against the angry man of the youth hostel ("I will do all I can to avoid aegee-bcn going to any hostel in Catalunya nevermore!" were his friendly words). And they are still trying to make us pay a fire-extinguisher, without success, thanks to Sergi (I was almost going to pay it).

And we are in Empuries Ruins and everybody is very interested and 5 minutes later we are on the beach enjoying the maybe last Spanish sun of the Summer..

And the girls are totally scared about the "erotico-alcoholic party" in the program, they even suggest me that the girls should just sit and drink alcohol while the boys do the erotic stuff ourselves (come on! don't be that way!), but when the moment arrive I think they enjoy it, no? And I... I'm... I'm in the gayest team (wooow!), but we almost won and it was quite sexy to make orange juice with Mari-Liis... But I still cannot sleep remembering 2 real men drinking tequila doggy-style.

And I'm still drinking apple licour and vodka (in the tequila way) with Francesca,... and Patrik (him again!) is singing for us lovely songs.

The tourists are still learning Spanish and Catalan from Josep and singing "la cabra la cabra la puta de la cabra la madre que la parió" in the fucking technical university, disturbing all the nerds; and later they are looking for something eatable in Polimenú (the worst fried potatoes in Barcelona!).

And Richard's friends are still dancing break-dance (and Andreas and Jeroen too), and Micha and Ginés are still DJing, and Jeroen is still playing his guitar and Ayako is still singing his greatest hit "Doraemon" (yeah, I love that song, Ayako, give up with the opera stuff).

I'm eating A LOT of strange things and drinking a lot of sangria in the Chinese restaurant, and we're finally singing Bohemian Rapsody (Kathrine knew 75% of the lyrics and she was the expert of the group) and I'm trying to convince the tourists that lizard's licour is not so dangerous ("come on! the animal is already death!"), and we're listening to cool music in Albert's place (a tonga da mironga kabuletééé) and... well... I thought playing with papers was sexy until my sister Roser came with some ice.. wooow! (remember: "ice is hot, ice is cool").

And I'm still trying to kiss M.L, but I'm only allowed if there's not too much people around us. And we are going to get some fresh air and to see palm-trees and people urinating in the streets.

And we are still trying to dance salsa (fuck the salsa! fuck the 1-2-3! fuck the discipline! I want slow songs!).

And we are listening to Absent playing "Jumping Jack Flash" in George & the Dragon, and it sounds quite better than Manu Chao...

And I'm listening to Manu Chao CD at home, because with that fucking crowd I decided that the best I could do was to scape- with some of our most beautiful girls, go to VIPs dancing "la conga", drink typical sangría Don Simón, and relax... yeah... (ok, we also did some dog-babysitting).

And, oh.. I almost forgot one of my favourite magic moments: Pizza Picnic in Plaça Urquinaona with Rain Simulator (it was a training for the following fucking rainy days).

And I still feel hate against the stupid rain ruining some of the Mercè program. But we're finding shelter in the "Sofà's Bar" and Esra and Tamara want a real man between them and all they can find is a Catalan thing like me, and they give me advices and try to explain me the deep secrets of the girls' mind.. (and it was fun and they are great and I love them both, but I must confess their teories and advices didn't make much sense to me; it was like when Agnese tried to make me understand that contemporany art can be cool, I mean it was like when Ciara tried to teach me salsa and all I could do was dance like an engineer).

And I'm still trying to marry Tamara, of course, but she doesn't have proper white clothes! (and she doesn't want to give me the ring back so I can try to marry other lovely participants!).

Tanja, Richard, Mari-Liis and me we are still having an early breakfast (3 a.m.) on the romantic Maremagnum Bridge. Ok, I was the only one who had breakfast, but they waited for me, and when I tryed to cover Tanja with chocolate to make her even more sexy, I could only do a small stain in her t-shirt.

And I'm still trying to convince Lu Yen to go to the forest and get some elefants for dinner (no more pizza or fast food, please).

And I'm having the most romantic dinner in Los Toreros with Anna. And I pay the waiter so he strategically turns off the light and it becomes even more romantic (if I didn't kissed her then it was only because I had a big piece of Spanish Chorizillo inside my mouth) and later we are talking about cinema under the rain (I cannot belive she even likes Fellini's "Roma"!).

And we are supposed to go to concerts but I'm wearing wet Correfoc clothes, and they are so fucking wet as if I had pissed on my pants, and later pissed inside my socks and shoes and a little bit on my shoulders...

The Correfoc is supposed to be under the rain, but under a RAIN OF FIRE! (anyway, the drumers were cool, and it's allways nice to see carton dragons and people dressed like stupid devils, isn't it?).

And I'm still amazed of the Turkish coins: 4 pesetas that become 500 pesetas! Oh, man, that's a good coin! Fuck the euro!

And Esra is telling me that if she goes to sleep at my place again she would have to marry me next day (and it sounds cool, but I cannot do it, because my marriage ring is still in Tamara's hands!)

And Sabita is trying to make me do streap-tease all the time, but she doesn't want to take off her clothes and I don't think it's fair.

But the most sexy moment is when Ginés kisses my foot because I can play "Satisfaction" with a left-handed guitar (and with only one string and very fucking slow!). Yeah... THAT'S SATISFACTION.

And some people is still getting drunk to visit typical Spanish Houses in Poble Espanyol, the magic place for tourism where the distances doesn't exist and the buildings have painted windows!

And I still feel some pain in the ass while hearing rumours of evil catalans becoming rich with your breakfast money (but I try not to think about it).

Then we are watching the Castellers and how they fall again and again, and girls (wicked girls) start saying that the human towers are also fallic symbols... falling fallic symbols. Come on! It's not their fault! This kind of big fallic symbols need gygantic motivation to not fall. So take off your t-shirts and dance something sexy!

And Rolf (the survivor who teached us how to buid camping tents, and even appeared on the Basc Lesson of the European Day of Languages!) is still the idol of all the boys, but Istvan is still asking ME for advice and I'm very proud, feeling like a love-expert! I still have no idea, man, but if the day arrives when I'll learn how to understand girls' signals I will send you an e-mail (or maybe I will write it on a book and become rich).

And everybody is still "losing control with music"... Ok, that's not exactly true for everybody: Some of you lost very few control, and others had NO CONTROL AT ALL since the first day!!

And talking about me... well... I had a box of control balloons and I didn't lose it! (I didn't use it anyway, but that's another history...)

And I'm still watching the Last Night Fireworks... on TV! And it's fucking sad and I don't want it to finish.

And then the teacher makes a disgusting comment over my noisy snorring, so I wake up, I copy the fucking blackboard as fast as I can; and I try not to live in the past, so I start dreaming on NEXT hollidays... come on! they will arrive someday!

X

PS: Yes, I know it's a lot but that's not all. Some things haven't been reported because they have been censored (the best ones, of course), others because I cannot remember (fucking holes in my brain) and others because... eh... ok, because I missed some meeting points, too! (but less than most of you, lazy tourists!). Please, forgive my omitions, mistakes, misspellings, distortions of reality, etc.

PPS: People, I really miss that Summer University atmosfere, come back

whenever you want, ok?

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